Dear Aspiring Instagram Makeup ArtistsTuesday, October 17, 2017
First of all, this photo has no relevance to the post whatsoever. But new hair, so.. Knives, forks, stilettos, fidget spinners, silic...
First of all, this photo has no relevance to the post whatsoever. But new hair, so..
Knives, forks, stilettos, fidget spinners, silicone bra inserts, condoms, tampons and testicles. Nope, this is definitely not my Christmas wish list, though I could do with some new cutlery.. I digress. All of the aforementioned objects have one thing in common. They've been used as implements to 'aid' people in applying their makeup on YouTube or Instagram.
I'm seriously hoping that this is not news to any of you, but these implements do not help with the application of makeup in any way whatsoever. These are not life hacks, these are not incredible hidden uses for everyday objects lying around your house. These are clickbait videos designed to make the 'creator' gain notoriety, infamy and ultimately make them Instafamous.
I thought we'd got past this 'trend', I really did. I thought the internet had seen the light and moved on from looking for weird objects to apply your makeup with. But no, I was wrong. The incandescent rage awoke within me. Because on my screen, was a woman, applying her makeup, with a chicken fucking nugget. I genuinely cannot believe I've found myself in the situation where I've actually typed that out. Just to let it sink in, she was applying her makeup with a chicken fucking nugget.
You may well think to yourself: "She was only having a laugh!" or "She's not doing anyone any harm." or "That looks interesting, I think I might try it." But first of all, no. Just no. Videos like this are problematic. There are problems with all of the objects I've seen being used. Some are physically dangerous and irresponsible, others are prohibitively expensive to use as makeup applicators and others are just fucking stupid. But that isn't even the real problem here.
No, the real problem here is that talented makeup artists, and I don't necessarily count myself in this, are being upstaged in this bizarre race to the bottom, to see who can humiliate themselves the most. The vast majority of artists and creators do not resort to these shock tactics, they hone their talents and work hard to grow their following through engagement, posting frequently and consistently, constantly thinking up new ideas and creations. The life of the creator is difficult, because you're only ever as good as your last creation. You may well have created a beautiful look today, but tomorrow, if your look is less interesting, it's forgotten in this age of short attention spans and instant gratification.
You live this life of the creator, striving and struggling every day. Aiming for your small milestones, plugging away tirelessly, having up days and down days. And then someone comes along and uses a chicken fucking nugget to apply their foundation and hits the jackpot. No. It's just not ok.